Giving Back to the Community

by Matt Tuohy October 14, 2014 11:12 AM

Incepture blog fans, we have some very sad news to report. This will be our last Vlog from Matt Tuohy, as he is moving on to pursue his dream job! 

We know that all of you have enjoyed Matt's blogs & vlogs full of advice, sea stories, and inspiration for our military families and our veterans as much as we have. We wish Matt all of the best and he will truly be missed by all of us.

Today, Matt discusses the importance of giving back to our community. 

A "Do Over"

by Libby Kelly October 09, 2014 09:59 AM

As the mother of middle-school and high-school boys, we have lots of chats about grades, working hard and the need to really study, not just cram in all the material in 30 minutes the night before.  We were having one such discussion in the car the other night and my now suddenly mature 9th grader says to his little brother regarding his lack of test preparation, “you don’t know what I would give to do middle school again the right way.”  After righting the vehicle, I reflected on his profound statement.  I have no doubt we all have moments in our lives when we would like a “do over” or have things in our lives we would like to do differently.  Like my son, one of mine (and yes, I have more than one) is academic.  I still kick myself over not taking my first couple years of college more seriously.  I still have nightmares about having to take an exam and not knowing where the class is held.  Can anyone relate? 

The key to dealing with these times is to realize that in most cases, we can get a “do over.” While it may not be a real, go back in time, erase what happened and do it all over again, we can always learn and adjust. But the keys to doing so are to 1) realize you actually need a “do over” (admission is the first step) and 2) not be so paralyzed by your initial misstep that you can’t learn from it and make corrections.  After all, according to Albert Einstein, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. 

Here are some tips to starting your “do over:”

  • Don’t wallow in the Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda mind-set.  Figure out what you can do and do it!
  • Don’t overwhelm yourself.  Wish you had travelled more? You don’t have to embark on a trip around the world (however nice that would be).  Take a day or weekend road trip.  Chances are there are undiscovered treasures close by. 
  • Don’t assume you are alone.  There are probably very few situations in which others have not found themselves.  Share your experience and seek advice from those you trust.
  •  Do celebrate your “do over.”  It doesn’t have to be public, just celebrate yourself and your accomplishments towards a goal.
  • Do consider an accountability partner.  This is especially helpful when you are trying to break an old habit or start a new one.When you know someone will be watching you and keeping up with your progress, you will be more likely to follow through. 
  • Do start now.  If you wait for the perfect time, you may never do it.  Say yes to yourself and make your “do over” a priority.

We would love to hear your insights and “do over” stories!! Feel free to comment below or tweet us @Incepture!

~Libby Kelly @libbyakelly

The Importance of Having a Partner

by Incepture July 10, 2014 10:21 AM

No, no, I’m not talking about soul mates, someone to be romantically involved with, or anything like that when I say it is important for you to have a partner. Instead, I’m talking about someone who is there to support you, encourage you, motivate you, and hold you accountable.

We all have friends, and friends are really wonderful for a lot of things, including telling us what we want to hear, instead of what we need to hear. When I talk about having a partner, I am talking about someone who is going to tell you the truth – no matter how wonderful or terrible it is.

I recently held a social media workshop where I demanded all of the people attending pair up with the person next to them and they were going to be each other’s accountability partners. They are going to be responsible for checking in and makings sure they are working to obtain their social media goals and sticking to their plan. They are there to encourage, motivate, and most of all – hold them accountable.

I recently started my pursuit back in the fitness world. After being a ballerina for 16 years, moving to a sedentary lifestyle has made me gain a lot of undesirable weight. Not only do I need to fit into a wedding dress next spring, but I need to be a healthier person. I eat a pretty healthy diet, and I walk often, but I haven’t been able to stick to any sort of exercise regimen. I find the gym to be the most boring thing on the face of the planet – I’d rather watch paint dry; Pilates was wonderful, but didn’t contain enough cardio; yoga was fun for a while and then it became mundane; so I have enrolled in a barre fitness class for the third time.

I forgot how hard it is, how the muscles in my legs shake, and how much I sweat. It doesn’t sound pleasant, does it? I was thinking of an excuse as to why I couldn’t come back.

I met another lady around my age and was telling her all of my reasons as to why I probably wouldn’t come back for my second class this week… My back hurt, I needed to spend time with my dog, I was going to be sore… I’d just come back next week. She saw through my excuses and offered to my workout partner. She is holding me accountable and has already texted me to make sure I’m coming to class today. She also is encouraging – she told me I would pick up all of the moves again soon and that I did really well for my first time back in a while.

So this is why you need a partner in whatever you’re trying to pursue – a business, a goal, an exercise program, etc.:

  • You hold each other accountable
  • You encourage each other
  • You motivate each other
  • You always tell what needs to be heard, not what they want to hear
  • You achieve your desired results by staying on track

Until next time, be sure to follow me on twitter @Heidi_Howell